


Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

by DrWhoIsGinnyHolmes



Series: Drarropoly 2018 [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Daily Prophet, Implied Sexual Content, Leaky Cauldron, M/M, Personal Ads, The Quibbler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-17 21:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16982103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrWhoIsGinnyHolmes/pseuds/DrWhoIsGinnyHolmes
Summary: Harry is tired of being alone. After long talks with his closest friends he finally breaks down and publishes a personal ad anonymously in the Quibbler. After receiving several duds, one response gets his attention.





	Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

**Author's Note:**

> This one was the hardest yet. It's taken over a week to complete it even though all my other stories were written in a day or two.
> 
> Title taken from the 1953 movie of the same name.

"Male for Male/Female

As a person who has attracted a lot of media attention in the past, I'm looking for someone who can handle a bit of spotlight. They need to be able to deal with conflicts as well as rumors because not everything you read is true. I'm looking for someone who is kind, but can hold their own when defending their beliefs, even if that belief is me. I'm attracted to sassy personalities since sarcasm happens to be the best ice breaker for me but putting down my friends and family is a big turn off. I need someone who understands that side of me, that family comes first, and that they in time may become my family too. I'm looking for someone serious about their work, understanding that I am the same. I'm looking to settle down and finally start the family I've been looking for, but I don't want someone who is going to let me push them around, unless it's in the bedroom. We will fight, we will have make up sex, this relationship will have its ups and down and I need someone who can take the good with the bad and still love me, love us. I can be a gentleman and treat you with the love and respect you deserve, but I can also treat you like the deviant I hope you are and take without hesitation. Physically, I'm still working out a few kinks (ahem). Do you think you can handle it?

Blondes preferred.

~Desperately Seeking"

"To Desperately Seeking:

You can't be real. You seem to good to be true. It's like you were in my head, picked out my lewdest fantasies, and spread yourself onto my grey silk sheets. Speaking of sheets, being the gentleman that I am, you wouldn't be seeing those until at least the third date. Doesn't mean you won't be seeing the inside of a loo before that, but I prefer to make you wait for penetration. Maybe I should make you beg? Oh, that's an idea, make the minor celebrity beg for his attention. I don't care if you're the bloody Savior of the Wizarding World, I would make you beg for mercy, hold off your release until you sob your relief.

On a more serious note, I'd be loyal and dedicated, not only to my job, but my partner and our life as well. I've committed heinous acts in defense and dedication to my family, but I've learned there is a limit. I have finally made peace with my past and I'm hoping that you can too.

~Gentlemen Prefer Blonde

  
Dear Blonde,

Leaky. Friday, 7 pm.

~Seeking

**DAILY PROPHET EXCLUSIVE:**

**HARRY POTTER KICKED OUT OF LEAKY CAULDRON FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE!**

_Harry Potter was found in flagrante with none other than Draco Malfoy! Witnesses claim to have heard strange noises coming from the loo. A scream was heard, and an employee ran out followed by the Boy-Who-Lived-Without-His-Pants and Mister Malfoy. (Cont. Page 5)_

**Author's Note:**

> Rolled: 7  
> Board Position: Daily Prophet (Free Write)  
> PROMPT: Epistolary - Write a piece featured in either 1) The Daily Prophet OR 2) The Quibbler ~~OR 3) Witch Weekly~~  
>  Word Count: 499 or less


End file.
